If we are new to a situation or feel insecure, we pay close attention. We carefully examine how others feel, what the cultural norms are, and what influence we seek to have.
On the other hand, we sometimes fail to be on our best behavior. It is another way of describing impulsive selfishness.
It is not surprising that our best behavior makes things go more smoothly. No, for many of us, the surprise is that it actually makes the experience better for us, not just the others.